12/27/2004

A Few Things Briefly But Rudely Noted:
So, like, how long until the Bush administration in some way ties Indonesian terrorists to the tsunamis that devastated that region of the world?

How long before Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson say it's God's revenge, like Noah's flood, washing those motherfuckin' non-Christians out to sea, leaving behind the ones who will be crying to convert to the faith of those who send relief supplies?

How come the rising death tolls look like we're watching the Dow on a good day on Wall Street? By the way, fuck CNN and MSNBC and Fox "News" and every other American media outlet, so fucking entranced by the higher and higher numbers. Watching the scroll and the updates on the three "news" nets, in between the "year in review" oh-boy-we-get-to-show-Janet-Jackson's-pixilated-titty programs and the constant hawking of merchandise available at cut rates in after-Christmas sales from desperate stores hoping to break even with expectations, was something not unakin to watching your Uncle Geoffrey rape a small dog in between giving you presents under the tree. Better stick with the BBC on this one, with its array of eyewitness accounts.

How come it only took a day or two before Secretary of Transportation Norman Mineta called for an investigation into this weekend's flying fiasco in order to find out how it could have been avoided but it took nearly a year for the President to agree to an investigation of 9/11?

How do the assholes sitting next to the Rude Pundit at this pretentious fucking coffee house expect to win even a school board election with their condescending attitude towards "red staters"? According to the jerk-off in the Anne Klein jacket, certain non-English films are "red state foreign films," meaning, one assumes, that the films are "easy to comprehend." Oh, then jerk-off does a cutesy imitation of a Southerner, saying, "I saw that foreign film. I are cultured." And, goddamn, his asshole friends are tittering up a storm at his cleverness. The Rude Pundit, most of whose friends and family reside in red states and who has spent a goodly portion of his life in this mythical place devoid of culture, who saw Godard films in packed theatres in fine Southern cities, needs to go. He's gotta grab this motherfucker and drag him into the bathroom and teach him some manners. Deliverance-style.