Photos That Make...Oh, Just Fuck You, Mitt Romney:

You know, the Rude Pundit could have been an actual superhero, flying around and saving people and defeating villains, like the Trader, a Wall Street executive who was bitten by a vampire squid and now sucks the funds out of the pockets of poor people with fanged tentacles of doom, and if someone had come to him and said, "Hey, we want your approval to sell these pins with a cartoon version of your face on them," he'd have said, "Go fuck yourself."

The pins, as you might or might not know, are from the 2002 Winter Olympic Games in Salt Lake City, Utah, or, as it might as well be known, "That Time Mitt Romney Held Up the Luge Track with His Bare Hands." They were made in China, blah, blah, blah, globalization bad 'cept when it's good.

What the Rude Pundit wants to focus on is the fact that someone came into Romney's office suite overlooking the Fountain of Brigham Young's Face or the Museum of Joseph Smith's Turds or whatever the fuck they have in Salt Lake City. And that toady said something like, "Umm, Mr. Romney, remember how you said you wanted pins made with a caricature of your face that emphasized your manly chin? We've got the mock-up of those."

And then Romney - who would really later be governor of Massachusetts and now really thinks he might become president - of the United States, no, really, hilarious, right? - looked at those pieces of self-aggrandizing shit and said, "Well, golly, those are great. Mormons everywhere...I mean, Americans will want to shell out their hard-earned money for jewelry with the mug of a glorified administrator on them with stoned-smiling anthropomorphic critters partying and talking to me there, too. Put them into production. On the cheap, though, over in China, so we can maximize profit. God bless Mormons...I mean, America...I mean, me."